(conflict management meets leadership development) 
 

Let’s be honest: most people dread difficult conversations. A UK survey revealed 57% of people would do almost anything to avoid them. And 11% reported sleepless nights in anticipation of them.¹ They can be awkward, emotionally charged, and easy to put off. But for leaders, avoiding them comes at a cost.  

Problems can grow. Morale dips. Trust fades. 

And yet, with the right preparation, difficult conversations don’t have to derail relationships. In fact, they can strengthen them. 

See Conflict as a Leadership Skill 

Too often, we treat conflict as a problem and one to avoid — rather than a skill to master. 

But handling tricky conversations is a core part of leadership. Whether it’s addressing underperformance, giving tough feedback, or raising a sensitive issue, being able to navigate discomfort with clarity and empathy is crucial. 

Great leaders don’t wait for the perfect moment. They build the capability early. 

Practise the Basics, Before You Need Them 

You can’t script every conversation. But you can plan your mindset. 

That starts with structure. Using simple frameworks such as the CLEAR model can help you to create conversations with a structure whilst keeping them human. 

• Contract – Set the tone. Agree what the conversation is about and what you hope to achieve. 

• Listen – Give the other person space to speak. Show genuine interest in their perspective and what they have to say. 

• Explore – Ask open questions. Try to find out what is going on beneath the surface? 

• Action – Identify what needs to change. What’s realistic and fair? 

• Review – Confirm understanding from both sides and agree next steps and follow-up. 

This structure helps reduce anxiety for both sides and ensures the conversation doesn’t trail off without resolution. 

Create the Right Conditions 

When it’s time to talk, don’t wing it. 

Have the conversation as soon as it’s reasonable and possible to do so – don’t let things fester. Waiting too long can make issues harder to resolve and feelings harder to manage. 

Choose a private, neutral space. Allow enough time. Lead with curiosity, not blame. 

Begin with what you’ve noticed – stick to facts, not assumptions and focus on clear, objective language rather than emotional responses. A simple framework like the SBI model (Situation–Behaviour–Impact) can help structure feedback in a way that feels fair and non-confrontational: 

“In yesterday’s team meeting (Situation), you spoke over Jane a few times (Behaviour), which made it difficult for her to contribute her ideas (Impact).” 

Pause. Let the other person speak. Ask open questions. Listen more than you talk.  

You’re aiming to understand, not win. 

Don’t Just Deliver — Follow Through 

One conversation won’t solve everything. Real change comes from what happens next. 

Agree clear actions. Check back in. Make it part of a wider development process, not a one-off chat. 

This signals that you’re invested – not just in the outcome, but in the person. 

Build Confidence as a Team 

The best time to train for a difficult conversation is before it happens. 

That means supporting managers to build confidence through coaching, peer practice, and role-play. Even experienced leaders benefit from refreshing their approach. 

Because when conflict is handled early, and well, it prevents bigger problems down the line. 

Final Thought 

Difficult conversations don’t have to be dreaded. With preparation, empathy and clarity, they can become moments of growth. 

If your organisation is looking to develop confident, capable leaders who can handle conflict with care, we can help – get in touch with us today to find out more.